Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Not Feeling Like A Super Mom Today....

       I started this blog with the idea in mind that I would always be real. There's so many mom blogs out there that only highlight the great things about being a mom and being a wife. I wish life was like that for me but it isn't always great. And I've always considered myself an open book (not always a good thing) because I have to talk about my problems. I have to be able to vent and talk out my feelings. Unfortunately, my husband isn't always the easiest person to talk to so I have reserved my venting to my awesome readers.

       The past couple of days have been pretty difficult for me. My oldest daughter Evie stepped on a rusty nail, but since she was up to date on her tetanus shot, I thought she would be ok. We cleaned it constantly and I made her soak her foot in a baking soda bath, hoping to stave off any infection. The next day after constant observation to make sure infection wasn't setting in, I started noticing some red lines running from the wound. I have always heard that this could be an indication of blood poisoning. I finally got her up to the hospital ER and we received the news, after an X-ray, that not only did the nail nick the bone, the nail also left some deeply imbedded debris behind. The doctor started her on antibiotics but told me that the amoxicillan takes care of most bacterial infections, except for one. And it was that one that the doctor was concerned about. I was freaking out inside, but couldn't show it for the sake of Evie. She was in relatively good spirits about the whole thing because she gets to stay out of school for the next 2 days. She's a trooper. The doctor went ahead and gave her a dose of amoxicillan so that I wouldn't have to drive around looking for a pharmacy at 1 am. He told me to keep a close eye on it and if it seemed to get worse, to rush her back to the hospital.

       Today, my husband went to drop the prescription off and it ended up costing $40.00. We don't have insurance and money has been tight so that was a lot of money to us.The minute he walked through the door with the medication, he decided to give me attitude. I let it go because I was exhausted from getting almost no sleep. My husband has a knack for NEVER letting an issue go. Something that happened 8 years ago he will still bring up. And anytime we have any money issues, he puts the blame on me. I'm the type of person, that if I know I won't have any money to get me through the week or what have you, and my cell phone is due, I won't pay the phone bill to make sure I have money for the kids. He isn't and never has been like that. He will pay his phone bill before he does anything. I know it sounds like I'm talking crap about him, but he and I have no communication skills so I can't discuss this kind of thing with him. He quickly turns the blame on me. Instead of acting like we're a team, and that when we struggle, we struggle together, he lashes out at me.  Needless to say, we had a huge fight, he left and now I'm stranded here without a car because my engine in my car finally breathed it's last breath. $3800.00 bucks down the drain. I can't walk anywhere because my daughter can't walk far. And we have no food in the house. Times like these really make me want to be single. To me, being married just isn't worth it.

       I know people have it a lot worse than me and I hate complaining but dang! Today has just been a messed up day. Thank y'all for letting me vent and I promise I'll have a fun and exciting post next time.

~XoXo Jess
Post a Comment